How Pregnancy Changes Love?

While pregnancy itself shouldn't change the love a couple feels for each other, most people will tell you that once a baby arrives the dynamics in a relationship can alter.

For many new parents their love for their baby is so powerful it can overshadow any feelings of love for each other. It doesn't mean those feelings are not still there and just as strong, but they may well be temporarily eclipsed.

Many people describe it as feeling two different kinds of love running simultaneously. The baby love is usually all-consuming and needs little conscious effort to maintain. The trick is to make a conscious effort to keep the love with your partner alive.

It's sadly true that some relationships do stumble or even crumble when a baby arrives. But most couples become stronger and even happier and there's a special bond created by the life-changing situation of becoming a family.

So what can you expect when two become three?

Pregnancy

During pregnancy a woman's hormones can greatly affect her mood. Some are shorter tempered and snap at their partner, others may actually feel more needy or affectionate towards them.

These hormone surges are transient. Women need to remember that some of what they feel may be irrational and short-lived.

Men need to be supportive, even though it can be a tall order grinning and bearing any unfair nagging, niggling or general grumpiness.

It helps to get involved in the pregnancy at all stages. If possible, accompany your partner to antenatal clinics and parenting classes so that you know what to expect and don't miss seeing your baby during the scans.

Don't be surprised if, with your partner's attention elsewhere, you are feeling rather neglected in the bedroom.

Some women go off sex at various stages of pregnancy, either through tiredness, feeling nauseas, feeling unattractive, awkward or simply un-sexy. Some women find sex more enjoyable during pregnancy. Try to be understanding and find other ways of being close.

Once baby arrives

It's generally considered safe to have sex again around six weeks after baby is born. Although of course some women may be uncomfortable and unwilling to try again for much longer. This doesn't mean she is feeling any less affectionate towards her partner.

Maybe leaking breasts make her feel uncomfortable or she is unhappy with her postnatal shape and isn't ready to be seen naked.

Discuss together exactly why sex isn't on the "to do" list and then work your way around the obstacles.

Try to relax, take your sex life one step at a time... together. You can always express your love for each other in other ways...

Also try to spend some quality time alone with your partner. Make an effort to have a romantic candlelight dinner (even if it is at home with baby in the next room). If possible go out together and try to speak about other topics - remember the things you used to chat about before junior arrived?

Debra Aspinall is an experienced journalist and the editor and leading writer for the Emma's Diary website, one of the UKs foremost pregnancy and baby websites. Debra writes on pregnancy related topics such as advice on getting pregnant, conception advice , first trimester pregnancy and etc. She also writes on women's health and beauty issues and contributes travel articles to glossy magazines in London and the Home Counties.

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